Drawing a New Circle

Sometimes you don’t realize how long you’ve been circling the promise.

Years ago, I wrote those words in a blog post I called My Jericho. I thought I was capturing the moment everything changed—the moment I finally left my safe, secure career in healthcare to step into my dream of being a full-time cake artist. I thought that was the big leap, the final wall coming down, the victory.

But what I’ve learned since then is this:

Some promises require more than one lap.

Some dreams unfold in layers.

Some versions of us must be born more than once.

This is the story of my first circle. And the second one I’m drawing now.

THE SEASON I STOPPED DREAMING

There was a time in my life when I stopped dreaming altogether. I did everything I was “supposed” to do.

I got my nursing degree. Built a career. Got married. Raised our daughter. Paid the bills. Checked every box like a responsible adult. By all definitions, I was successful.

But underneath the busy schedule and the shiny résumé, something was missing.

I had stopped asking myself one of the most important questions a human can ask:

What do I actually want?

At some point, I traded imagination for practicality. Vision for logic. Calling for “being realistic.” I convinced myself I was fine. But I wasn’t fine.

Because when you stop dreaming… a part of you goes quiet. And eventually, that silence becomes unbearable.

THE SPARK: A BOOK, A STIRRING, A REMINDER

About five years before I ever left my job, I was introduced to a book called The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. It talks about praying circles around the things you’re believing God for — even when they seem impossible.

Something in me woke up.

I remembered being creative.

I remembered imagining.

I remembered wanting more.

As children, we dream without limits. As adults, we convince ourselves it’s foolish. But God didn’t give us imagination to tease us. He gave it to show us what’s possible.

I started dreaming again—quietly, cautiously. I could see this tiny spark of a baking business in my mind.

I didn’t know how. I didn’t know when. But I could see it.

And if you can see it in your head…

you can hold it in your hand.

THE “RETURN OF SATURN” (EVEN THOUGH I DIDN’T KNOW THAT’S WHAT IT WAS)

Now, let me be clear — I’m not into astrology. But recently I heard about the concept of the “return of Saturn.” Supposedly, around age 29, your life goes through a massive realignment and forces you to face who you really are.

Whether planets were involved or not, I had to laugh — because around 29, I made a major shift.

I left frontline nursing — where I’d spent almost a decade in ICU, ER, and education — and moved into leadership. I wanted to make change at a higher level. I wanted to fix broken systems, build strong teams, and improve patient care. And for a while, leadership felt like purpose.

It was challenging. It was meaningful. It stretched me in the best ways.

That season shaped me… until it didn’t.

WHEN THE SYSTEM CHANGED (AND I DIDN’T)

Over time, the organization I worked for shifted. Innovation was no longer welcome. Creativity was inconvenient. The culture became more top-down, more rigid, more resistant to change.

And someone like me — someone who thrives on problem-solving, autonomy, fresh ideas — started to suffocate. I was still good at my job. But I wasn’t alive in it anymore.

I could feel myself outgrowing the box I was in… and the box kept shrinking. At the same time, my “little hobby” of baking on the side started to feel a lot less little.

By day, I managed systems. By night, I created art.

One was safe. One lit me up.

And slowly, I started to realize:

the thing I did “for fun” might actually be the thing I was made for.

THE LEADERSHIP WOUND NO ONE TALKS ABOUT

There’s a part of my story I never truly spoke about before. For years, I worked under a supervisor who cared more about perception than truth.

It didn’t matter that I consistently solved problems others couldn’t.

It didn’t matter that I built strong teams and protected staff and patients.

It didn’t even matter that my intentions were good and my results were excellent.

If someone perceived me as too direct, too confident, too intense — even while I was fixing real issues — that perception became the problem.

Not the broken system.

Not the outcome.

Me.

She had known me for over 13 years. She knew my heart. She knew my integrity. She knew my passion for doing what was right. And still… she made my identity the issue.

Perception > truth.

Perception > impact.

Perception > integrity.

Do you know what that does to a person over time?

You start to shrink.

You second-guess your voice.

You dull your fire to make other people comfortable.

You apologize for being strong.

I became a muted version of myself. And the heartbreaking part?

I was praised for it.

SUCCESS ON PAPER. SILENCE IN MY SOUL.

From the outside, I was thriving.

Respected. Needed. Valuable.

But inside… I was disappearing.

The very qualities that made me effective — vision, passion, courage, creativity — were treated like flaws.

I was appreciated, but not seen. Valued, but not free. Trusted to lead, but not trusted to be fully myself.

And that kind of misalignment doesn’t just drain you — it breaks you slowly.

I didn’t realize it then, but I was already walking circles around my first Jericho.

WHEN YOUR BODY SAYS “ENOUGH”

You can ignore your soul for a long time. But eventually, your body steps in.

I became exhausted all the time. Irritable. Emotional. Gaining weight I couldn’t lose. Crying on the way to work. Dreading every morning. Feeling heavy in my own skin. I kept pushing — because that’s what strong women do, right?

Until I couldn’t.

After many failed attempts to “just get it together,” I went to a naturopath. After testing, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s — an autoimmune condition where your body attacks your thyroid, often triggered by chronic stress.

Part of me was relieved. I wasn’t crazy. Something was wrong. But another part was terrified. Stress had taken such a toll… my body had started attacking itself.

It was my wake-up call.

Something had to change—not just my diet or my schedule.

My life.

A CHANGE OF PACE + A CHANGE OF PLACE = A CHANGE OF PERSPECTIVE

I took a leave from work and focused on healing.

I changed how I ate.

I walked daily.

I rested.

I listened to podcasts and audiobooks.

I dug into personal growth.

I grieved the things I had never given myself permission to feel.

I learned about rest — not just physical, but emotional and spiritual rest. Rest that restores your soul.

And as my body healed… my spirit did too.

The quiet dream?

It was no longer quiet.

It had become a fire.

WHEN THE DREAM GETS TOO LOUD TO IGNORE

There comes a moment when desire and truth collide so powerfully… you can’t unsee it.

The life I had built was good. But the life I was being called to? It was holy. And it terrified me.

I had a secure job. Salary. Pension. Benefits. Identity. How could I walk away from that?

So I tried to be logical...

“Maybe in a few years.”

“I’ll just push through a little longer.”

“Now’s not the time.”

But deep down I knew… Logic was just fear wearing a blazer.

God started closing doors. One after another. Painful things happened. Things I thought I could tolerate became unbearable.

I broke. I cried. I processed for three days.

Then I made a decision.

RESPECT YOURSELF ENOUGH TO WALK AWAY FROM ANYTHING THAT NO LONGER SERVES YOU, GROWS YOU, OR MAKES YOU HAPPY

The moment I chose to walk away… all the fear I expected to feel vanished.

And in its place?

Peace. Lightness. Clarity.

FREEDOM.

It felt like chains falling off. That’s when I realized: all those years I thought nothing was happening…

God was preparing me.

I hadn’t been stuck. I had been circling Jericho.

And now… the walls had fallen.

I jumped into my baking business full-time in February 2022. The hobby had turned into a side hustle. The side hustle had turned into a calling. And now — I was finally answering it.

I thought that was the end of the story. But it turns out… that was only the first circle.

ENTREPRENEURSHIP: THE PART NO ONE TELLS YOU

Starting a business isn’t just about making something. It’s about becoming someone.

When I left healthcare, I didn’t just change careers.

I shed identities.

I stepped away from external validation.

I walked into a world where there was no roadmap.

At first, I did it all...

Cakes. Classes. Markets. Holiday boxes. Weddings. One-offs. Recipe books. Dessert bars. You name it, I tried it.

In the beginning, it was survival. Then it became exploration. Then it turned into refinement. Entrepreneurship didn’t just build my business — it rebuilt me.

It taught me what I love. What drains me. What I’m brilliant at. What I was only doing out of fear or obligation.

My business evolved, yes. But more importantly… I evolved.

CAKE WAS NEVER “JUST CAKE”

People call it “just cake.”

But cake is art.

Cake is memory.

Cake is story.

Cake is the centerpiece of life’s most sacred moments.

Creating brought me back to life. It reawakened my imagination. It gave me permission to feel. It let me use both my analytical mind and my creative heart.

Being a cake artist didn’t just give me a job. It gave me back myself.

For the first time in years… I felt fully expressed.

AND THEN… ANOTHER SHIFT

Over the last couple of years, I continued to grow and evolve.

I refined my skills. I narrowed my offers. I discovered what truly lights me up.

And slowly… I felt something stirring again.

Not a breakdown this time. Not exhaustion. Not burnout.

An awakening.

It wasn’t “I can’t do this anymore.”

It was “I’m ready for more.”

I didn’t have a name for it at first. Maybe the “second return of Saturn?”

Maybe the second return isn’t about blowing up your life. It’s about coming back home to yourself. Realigning at a deeper level. Reclaiming your identity with wisdom. Not crisis. Clarity.

DRAWING A NEW CIRCLE

In The Circle Maker, you pray circles around your promise. The first time, I drew a circle around leaving a career that was crushing me. This time, I am drawing a new circle— not because I’m broken… but because I’m being called higher.

This circle isn’t about escaping something.

It’s about expanding into who I truly am.

No more playing small.

No more people-pleasing.

No more saying yes to things that dilute my gift.

No more dimming my artistry to fit into boxes I’ve outgrown.

This circle is about alignment. Excellence. Artistry. Legacy.

LUXURY.

Not luxury as in “price tag.” Luxury as in presence, intention, experience, transformation.

I AM NOT “JUST A BAKER”

For years, even after I left my job, I still downplayed what I do. I said yes to orders that didn’t light me up. I took on small projects because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I kept one foot in the “safe” lane just in case. But the truth? I am not a baker. I am an artist.

And art demands more.

Art demands vision.

Art demands space.

Art demands depth, emotion, devotion, beauty.

I don’t just make cakes.

I create experiences.

I design memories.

I bring stories to life in buttercream and sugar.

That is luxury. And it’s time I owned it.

NO MORE SHRINKING

For years, I was told—directly or indirectly — that my passion was “too much.”

My standards were “too high.”

My leadership was “intimidating.”

My voice was “too strong.”

Now I see the truth:

I was never too much. I was simply in the wrong rooms.

The very traits that made me “difficult” in small spaces

make me powerful in the right spaces.

My analytical brain + creative soul?

That’s my superpower.

My high standards?

That’s why clients trust me.

My vision?

That’s why my work stands out.

My passion?

That’s the secret ingredient in everything I create.

I am done apologizing for being who I am. I am done shrinking to make others comfortable. I am done diluting my gift.

FAITH EXPRESSED IS CREATION

Leaving healthcare wasn’t just a career change. It was faith.

Jumping into business wasn’t just a risk. It was obedience.

And now — stepping into luxury, alignment, and full artistic expression? It is worship.

God didn’t give me vision so I could tone it down. He didn’t give me creativity to use it halfway. He didn’t bring me through everything I’ve lived just to have me build something ordinary. He called me to create beauty that makes people feel something.

Real beauty isn’t cheap, rushed, or meaningless.

Real beauty is intentional. Excellent. Emotional. Sacred.

That is the lane I choose.

THIS ISN’T JUST A BUSINESS MOVE. IT’S A SOUL DECISION.

I am shifting into luxury offerings. Not to be fancy. Not to exclude. Not to impress.

But because luxury is where my artistry lives. It’s where my purpose lives. It’s where my whole self is required — and welcomed.

This isn’t about charging more. It’s about creating at the level I was born to create. And I’m ready.

IF YOU’RE READING THIS, MAYBE YOU’RE CIRCLING TOO

Maybe you feel the stir.

Maybe you’ve been living small to stay safe.

Maybe you’ve forgotten how to dream.

Maybe you’ve been circling something for a long time and wondering if anything is happening.

Let me tell you what I wish someone told me:

You are not behind.

You are being prepared.

Those “wasted” years?

They were foundation years.

That restlessness?

That’s sacred.

That stirring in your soul?

It is not random.

It is an invitation.

Draw a circle.

Even if you don’t know how. Even if it doesn’t make sense. Even if it scares you.

Faith isn’t about seeing the possible.

It’s about stepping toward the impossible.

THE CIRCLE IS DRAWN

I once believed the first leap was the miracle. But now I know:

The miracle is becoming the person who keeps drawing circles.

The miracle is choosing alignment over approval.

The miracle is trusting God even when logic screams no.

The miracle is refusing to shrink ever again.

The miracle is knowing who you are—and living like it.

I am not the woman I was five years ago, two years ago, or even last year.

And in this season — I refuse to circle small promises.

I am drawing a new circle. With clarity, with courage, with faith.

Because I can see it in my head. And if I can see it in my head…

I will hold it in my hand.

This is not the end.

This is the beginning of the next promise.

And I am ready.